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 Over Christmas, I was blessed with
the opportunity to take our three daughters, Faith and Grace, (age 18
from India) and Joy (age 14 from China) to their homelands. Many
of you have asked about our trip....
This trip was a culmination of 18
years of plans and desires to take our children back to their
homelands. I have studied and researched homeland tours, gone to
meetings to hear folks speak about them, read several articles and
books, watched videos, planned and prayed, and finally Christmas Day
2005 arrived and we were off!
The goal of a homeland tour is for
your children to fall in love with their homeland, reconnect with their
past, continue to build their identity and pride in their heritage, and
create family memories. Our journey not only accomplished this, but so
much more!! We spent two weeks of quality time learning about different
cultures, meeting new people, and retracing the steps of my children’s
birth parents. It was definitely a journey of the heart! Sometimes it
was sad, but mostly we celebrated God’s plan for each of their lives,
and His amazing grace to place them, of all the children in the world,
in our family!
We started our journey in Delhi, went to the Taj
Mahal, and then on to Hyderabad, where we were met at the airport by the
very lady who had taken our children to the orphanage from their birth
parents. In the words of my daughter Grace, “India was different than
America. I loved staying with Mrs. Paul, because they were so nice to
us. I loved all the (Indian) food that they made for us, it was really
good! I think that maybe one day, after I get my child care degree that
I might go back and help with the orphanage and school that Mrs. Paul
runs. Also we went to the marketplace around where Faith and I were
born. They didn’t want to take us there because it was not the nicest
place, but we did. It was kind of cool! I am thankful that Mrs. Paul
came and took us out of there and found us a better place to live. I
will always be thankful to her for saving my life. God used her to put
us into a great family and is still using her to do great things. I was
very happy to go back to India and see what it looks like and see what
life was like. It was a great experience. I would like to come back
again for a longer stay. I am really grateful that I had the chance to
go back and visit where I was born.” Faith said, “Going back to India
was a great experience. There were parts that were scary, such as
seeing the beggars, and all the poor people. I felt sorry for the poor
people knowing that I was once one of them, and could still be one of
them, or be dead by now if I was not adopted. I feel kind of bad that I
have so much, and want more, and they have
nothing. I feel sad that some or all of my birth family has probably
died, and do not know God, and that they were poor and there is not much
I can do for them, but pray. I feel like I should go back again and
stay in India a month or longer when I am older, and I would love to
help at the orphanage.”
There was also another young American
guy (age 24) who had been in the orphanage the same time as our
daughters, who was there also for the first time to revisit his birth
family and birth country. All three of these young people were able to
journey to orphanages they had lived in and see the city of their
birth. Tom, our young friend from Michigan, had found his birth
family. He was placed in the orphanage at age 8, so he remembered his
family. When he saw his birth father, his father said, “Now that I have
seen you, my son, my life is complete!”
We spent New Year’s Eve and New
Year’s Day in Hong Kong, and then flew to Beijing to see our team there,
visit with Melody and her family, and see the Hope Center. This was
really the first “orphanage” that my girls had been in since being
adopted as infants. It was fun for them to interact with the children;
although it was awkward for them at first, and I am sure it brought up
some questions about their own beginnings.
An important part of any homeland
tour is experiencing the sights, sounds, and culture of the country and
people! While in Beijing, we were able to climb the Great Wall, see
Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, and the Chinese
Acrobats! We even shopped at Silk Road, which was terrific!
Then we were on to Joy’s orphanage city of
Changsha. Through pictures we had taken when we received Joy, we were
able to find her original nannies and others who had helped to take care
of her 14 years earlier. Again, in an
amazing coincidence, there was a family from Canada who had adopted in
November 1991, only two weeks after us, also there visiting for the
first time with their children. We were able to have dinner with them,
two of the nannies and one of the orphanage officials. It was a
memorable moment to see the nannies cry over these two girls who had
returned to their homeland. Joy’s orphanage had moved, but we were able
to visit both locations, and see the children.
Joy said, “I felt unique, which I
loved.” We also visited a local high school, and the girls were able to
meet other teenagers! Definitely a highlight!
Finally, we spent a couple of days
relaxing at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou, shopping and even getting
a first ever massage for the girls! In Faith’s words, “Both India and
China were cool places to visit and very interesting to see how they
lived.” Mission accomplished....we had a wonderful time and the second
journey of a lifetime for our girls!
Homeland Tours —CHI will be able to help
families with Homeland Tours to China. This is a wonderful gift and
opportunity for families and adoptees to explore their cultural roots,
often reconnecting with orphanage workers, friends and relatives.
Homeland tours should provide adoptees with pride, belonging, cultural identity, and understanding.
Adoption specialists recommend a homeland tour when children are 10-12
years of age. (Personally, age 14 and 18 were great too!) This decision
should be child-led, and will be influenced by the age your child was
adopted and their circumstances of placement. Do they have an interest
in going to their homeland? Many children do not have this interest,
and often do not want to make such trips until they are adults. We need
to allow our children the freedom to decide what is right for them! 
Other
Resources:
1. The TIES Program - 10520 W Bluemound
Road, Wauwatosa, WI 53226
800-398-3676
www.AdoptiveFamilyTravel.com
Email:
tiesporgram@aol.com
(Also offer a video for purchase on
traveling to your child’s land of birth)
2. Lotus Travel Heritage Discovery Tours
of China - 800-956-8873
3. Our Chinese Daughters Foundation
China Tours - Box 1243, Bloomington, IL 61702
Jane@ocdf.org
www.ocdf.org/tours
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A MESSAGE FROM BRENDA BARKER
Happy Mother’s Day!
What a wonderful day to celebrate, whether this is your first Mother’s
Day or your 20th ... it is a wonderful day to celebrate the
love and richness our children have brought into our lives! And of
course, for those who wait for their first Mother’s Day our hearts go
out to you! Those of you who are still contemplating adoption, please
let us know how we can help! And of course there is no better time than
today to start your adoption!
We don't want to burden
you with a lot of information, but we do want to help you if you are
looking for a way to adopt. If not, please let us know and we will
regretfully remove your name from our newsletter. E-mail me at my
address below with any question you have.
I would love
to hear from you.
Brenda
Southeastern U.S.
Brenda Barker,
Director
7003 Chadwick Dr. Suite 350
Brentwood, TN 37027
615-309-8109 Fax: 615-309-8483
brenda.barker@childrenshope.net
Also serving the following
states:
TN, KY, GA, AL, AR, MS, VA,
LA & SC
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Jeff
& Jane Earls
