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Creighton and Reilly Ward—sisters in every way.
In March of 1996, I took the first conscious step to becoming a Momma through adoption. It was a long process that culminated on August 30, 1998 when I met my wonderful first-born daughter, Creighton Alessandra Ai-Jie. She was born in Changde, Hunan, and through the miracle of adoption was placed in my arms at the tender age of 14 months. She owned my heart, and still does. In January, 2000, I began the paperwork for my second adoption. I spent about 2 weeks working on it, and then printed it out, read it through, wept, and signed my name at the bottom, and then dated it. As I sat back, I realized the date was February 2, my sister’s birthday. She had died from cancer in January 1994, just short of her 41st birthday. It was a devastating time for me, and I had always felt that she was with me during the hard decisions. I knew she was with me during Creighton’s adoption and felt her presence palpably during my first trip to China. My dossier went to China in August, 2000. Then I waited, and worried, especially when the CCAA Director changed and the singles scrutiny began in earnest. I hoped, and prayed and waited. Finally, one year later, the incredible phone call came. I was a Momma again to a wonderfully healthy, very beautiful, little bit of a baby girl who was waiting for me in Changde, Hunan! I was over the moon! Reilly Xalia Xiao-Fang was coming home! Just as the reality of packing was setting in, September 11th arrived in full fury—and I worried again—waiting to see what else might happen; would we be allowed to travel? Did anyone want to fly? How could we not?? And then we left for China. When the knock on our hotel room door came, I was surprised to see the orphanage director holding my daughter out to me. She was unafraid and came to me easily. Her face lit up at the sight of my mother, and she reached for her and said “Nai Nai.” We fit together easily and well. Life settled into a comfortable place. We all slept soundly. When Creighton awoke at 3 a.m., she said “Is that my baby?” and slipped her precious green teddy bear into the crib next to Reilly. When Reilly awoke at 6 a.m., she looked at Creighton and smiled. There was an immediate and unmistakable look of love between them. After our homecoming, Reilly put on some weight, and the resemblance between the two became even more obvious. Photos of Creighton and Reilly at the same age showed two girls who could be biologically related. It was something people often asked me: Are they biological sisters? They look so much alike. Did you adopt a sibling group? No, they are from the same area, so perhaps that accounts for the resemblance who knows? Then, in July 2002, I had my cards read. The person who read my cards told me many things, but the most significant was that the reason Reilly’s referral was late was because my late sister was watching over her and making sure that I would be matched with this particular baby, with Reilly. He also told me that the connection between my younger daughter and my older daughter would surprise me. OK, I admit, I immediately made the jump that they could they be biologically related. Totally unlikely, but could they? I mulled over the information for a couple of weeks. I kept coming back to the same thing—DNA testing would prove it one way or the other. I just wasn’t sure I should. I just wasn’t sure I could. I went to Alta Vista and typed in the words “genetic testing”—held my breath and hit the Enter key. In nanoseconds, several sites and lots of information appeared before me. I started to read. I opened an e-brochure. I clicked some boxes, entered my credit card number and hit Enter. What had I done?! The collection kits arrived on Thursday. On Monday morning, I collected DNA from each girl. Then I overnighted them to the lab. They told me it would take approximately 6 weeks for the results. I had checked off the option to receive an email as well as results in the mail. And I waited. Meanwhile, life went on. A new au pair joined our family.
Dance classes started. I got up each day and went to work; came home at night;
and kissed my bumbelinis and read Berenstain Bears books about nailbiting, messy
rooms, and counting our blessings. I counted my blessings. I scanned to the bottom of the screen and there were the words: Reilly X. X. Ward - Sibling A and Creighton A. A. Ward - Sibling B are biological full-siblings. I screamed. I screamed again. I started to shake. I screamed yet again. Most folks had long been gone, but three of my staff came running and clustered in my doorway, almost afraid to enter. Are you ok? I couldn’t speak—and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. They ran to me and grabbed me and I sat back down. I said you aren’t going to believe this. Creighton and Reilly are sisters. What do you mean, of course they are. NO—I had DNA tests done. They are biological sisters. WHAT?!?? It was an emotional rollercoaster. I was thrilled to have this information. I was heart-broken to have this information. My thirst for knowledge of their birth family is huge—and yet my heart hurts just thinking about them. Does this biological information make a difference? NO—not really. They are sisters just as much now as they were before. Will it perhaps make it easier to understand their stories? Maybe, I hope so, for them. Do I think this has some significant meaning that there are more detailed official records and less chance in the matching process? Actually, NO, I don’t. But I do believe that God had a plan for my girls, just as He has a plan for all of the children adopted from China and everywhere else. Our children were meant to be a part of our lives. For reasons I don’t know if I will ever understand, my two darlings were meant to be together, in my family. It is a miracle--the chances of this happening have got to be even more astounding than those of the chances of the twins recently reunited. It is amazing. And I am thankful. And where this information may take us now, I have no idea, but I am truly, deeply, and humbly thankful for God’s good grace for my family. |
