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The Joys of Motherhood
After 40
By Marianne
Adams
The telephone message from Debbie couldn't have come
at a worse time—at the end of a frazzled, exhausting Monday. Debbie, a
reporter for a local publication, wanted to do a story on "The Joys of
Motherhood After 40," and I—the 49-year old adoptive mother of two lovely
little Asian girls—was to be the subject of that story.
Monday,
always hectic at our house, was even more difficult that day. My girls, Johnna (5½) and Leah (3), were exhausted from a too-busy weekend. The
telephone in my home office rang endlessly with calls from potential
adoptive parents who always seem to save their questions for Monday
morning. But no time to rest—I had lunch duty at Johnna's kindergarten that
morning, followed by a meeting, after which I had promised the girls I would
take them swimming.
I picked up
the phone message from Debbie at the end of that frenzied day and listened
with a mixture of puzzlement and annoyance. Puzzled because the message was
worded in such a way as to suggest that I was newly married and barely 40
years old. As I relayed the message to Peter and collapsed into bed, I
wasn't feeling very joyful. "Worn out" would have been an accurate
description—the joys of motherhood—right!
As I waited
for sleep, I thought back over the years during which our two little girls
had come to us.
Johnna
Young Shin had been an infant, only 4 months old, when she came to us from
Kang-Won Province in the Republic of South Korea. Sunny-dispositioned,
chatty, totally comfortable with herself, she had grown, at the age of 5½
years, into a bright and social youngster who enjoys kindergarten, music and
many friends. Johnna's wish for a "baby sister" took us to Fujian Province
in China in June of 1996 where tiny Leah Chen Liu, then 2½ years old, became
part of our family. Sweet, gentle-hearted and shy, bright little Leah
quickly adapted to her new surroundings, though with a few strange
"twists." The Reeboks we brought with us to China were the first real shoes
she'd ever had and, for the first several nights, she had refused to take
them off when she went to bed. Bed was another stranger to her. When, each
night after being tucked in, she crept out of bed and crawled under it, it
finally became obvious to us that she had probably slept on the floor.
Still, I thought as I drifted off to sleep, was "joy" the proper word to
describe these experiences?
At
midnight, Leah woke up screaming, "Mama!" Peter and I rushed to her bedroom
just as she vomited all over the bed, herself and the tile in the hall as we
carried her to the bathroom. We spent the next hour cleaning up Leah and
the bed, again chuckling over the "joys of motherhood after 40."
In the
meantime, sweet Leah, totally confused over what had happened to her, kept
whispering, "I torry (sorry), Mama, for making mess." It was the first time
in the 10 months since she had come to us that she had been sick. When I
saw the confusion in her eyes, I asked her if she would like to have me
sleep in her room in case she was sick again. I'll never forget how her
little face lighted up. If she could have put her feelings into words, I'm
sure that she would have said, "You would do this for me?"
I dragged a
mattress into her room—where Johnna still slept soundly, unaware of the
drama going on around her. As I lay down on the mattress, I replayed the
previous day, probably feeling sorry for myself, and then reviewed my to-do
list for the next day. All at once, Leah jumped out of bed, planted a kiss
on my forehead and said, "Thank you, Mama, thank you for staying with me."
She did this not just once, but five times. What a precious little girl, so
thankful for such a simple deed that so many children take for granted. As
I lay there, tears running down my face, I prayed, "Thank you, Lord, thank
you for reminding me of what motherhood is all about."
When I
awoke the next morning, I found Leah fast asleep on the floor next to my
mattress, with her small hand holding mine.
Oh, the joys of motherhood at any
age!
Marianne and Peter Adams
live in Phoenix with their two adopted daughters. Marianne is
the branch facilitator for CHI-AZ.
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Marianne is married and the mother of two adopted children, Johnna,
15 years old
(Korea) and Leah, 12 1/2 years old (China) and Chad, her 34 year old biological son.
Her son Chad and his wife Mikkelyn recently presented Marianne and her
husband with their first grandchild. Elijah was born January 2006. Her
heart and soul are poured into her families in Arizona and she serves them tirelessly and
prayerfully throughout the adoption process and much much beyond. The following
illustrates in her own words, what we mean: