1st Trip - The Referral Trip:

The Call You've Been Waiting For!
When CHI receives your invitation from Russia to travel to meet your referral, your Adoption Consultant in the Regional or Main Office will call you with the good news.  They will tell you that you have been invited for your first trip to the region to meet your child. Any information that CHI receives on your assigned referral will be given to you at this time.  However, be prepared! Most regions invite the families without giving any information about your child/children. The only thing the Regional Ministry of Education tells our Representative is that they have a referral for your family that closely matches what the family has requested.

It is important that you do not leave the U.S. until everything is approved and ready in Russia. For married couples, at least one parent must travel to see their child and must have a signed, Notarized and Apostilled Parent Power of Attorney from the spouse who is NOT traveling. Again, Children's Hope International does not recommend only one spouse travel for the first trip unless absolutely necessary.

Before you travel to Russia you will have a training session with in-country representative over the phone. You will go step-by-step through the adoption process to better understand what is going to happen while you're in country.

Online seminar (PowerPoint file)             Online seminar (PDF file)

Who will be traveling to Russia? 

Married couples - only one of the adopting couple is required to travel on the first trip to see their referral. The spouse who chooses not to travel must complete a notarized and apostilled Parent's Power of Attorney giving the traveling spouse full power to act on their behalf. Children's Hope International does not recommend this option, as this is one of the biggest decisions a married couple will make. However, the second trip, both parents are required to travel to see their child prior to Court and attend the Court Hearing according to the Russian Government.   

For married couples, the Russian Government and CHI encourage that only the adoptive parents travel. It has been our experience that having additional family members such as other children, grandparents, etc. can take away from the adoption and bonding process between you and your child. You may never have this one-on-one bonding time again. When another child is along, there can be jealousy issues on the part of either or both children. As an agency we must take into consideration the best interest of all parties involved in the trip. We would like to remind you that this is an adoption trip, not a family vacation. The final decision is up to you, but for fairness to other families, there will be an additional $450 fee per travel companion(s).

You will have to make your final decision on who will be traveling as soon as possible. If you have not already done so, we ask that you send in the information with the visa application immediately. CHI will order your visas and have them sent directly to your home from the Russian Embassy.  At this time, we ask for your final decision to be made so that we do not have to rush order any visas and ask that no changes be made after this point. Of course, in the case of an emergency, plans can be changed on a case-by-case basis. Anyone who travels will need a current passport and one (1) passport size (2? X 2?) picture for each trip to Russia.

Single parents - we strongly recommend that you travel with a friend or relative. Having another person helps a great deal in traveling and caring for a child. (However, all accompanying travelers other than adoptive parents must have an approved medical status to travel and have signed a  travel form stating that they agree to all requirements.  The form must be turned into CHI prior to travel and we must have sufficient notice to prepare the person's visa invitation, visa and travel arrangements). 

A Travel email will be sent to you prior to your departure with our regional representative's names and the emergency numbers you will need during your stay.

MEETING YOUR CHILD AND ADVICE FOR A SMOOTH ADJUSTMENT

• Meeting your child is a moment you have been looking forward to for months now.  You may have a picture in your mind of how this meeting will be and may be disappointed when this precious moment does not exactly meet up to your dreams. 

• Be prepared for your child to be hesitant to come to you on the first meeting.  Remember you are a stranger to your child--he/she is not use to you and may even be afraid to come to you.

• Your child may have formed an attachment to his/her caregiver.  Your child will not be able to understand the miracle of becoming a part of your family and may experience loss or grief at leaving the people and surroundings he/she is accustomed to.  This grieving may take only a few days to get over or in rare cases longer.  This is normal - be patient and loving.

• Bubbles, candy in your pockets, and small toys can often give your child a positive image of you, lessening their fear of you, and easing a tense moment.  These items can often give a needed diversion to months of long awaited expectations or awkward moments.  Word to the wise: GO SLOW!  Take your cues from your child!

• Many of the things your child will experience with you are completely new to him/her.  He or she may burst into tears at any given time.  Just be as loving as possible.  You may feel you are prepared for this, but don't be surprised if you experience some feelings of rejection if your child seems to prefer someone else besides you.  Most children will feel loved and secure with their adoptive parents very soon and will quickly begin forming a love and trust for you and your family.

• Adjustment is normal and no one will judge your capabilities as a parent by how quickly the child bonds with you. The time you spend in Russia with your child will be a time of adjustment for you and your child.  There may be times you feel unequipped to handle some of these adjustments.

• For the older child, give them their backpack and just a few small toys.  (You may want to give them their toys over several days, so as not to overwhelm them.)  DO NOT ever try to take this away from your child.  Remember, they may have never had their own possessions!  They may not even let you take off their coat for a while!  Give them time- they'll learn they are not going to lose it!  No need for power struggles, just try to put yourself in their place.

• Try to introduce new things gradually to your child.  Any new foods should be introduced slowly.  Realize that this may be hard for your child.  Do not force feed your child at any time.  Do not be concerned if they skip a few meals.  Their eating schedules may be irregular at first, but will soon become routine.  If you feel your child is not eating enough when you return home, you can ask your doctor about it.  (However, the reverse is true with most children!  You may be concerned they are eating too much ? they may never have gotten full in their lives, or they may think that this is the only meal of the day.  Don't worry, this too shall pass!)

• he child may favor one parent at first, remember this is temporary.  You might try having the spouse with whom the baby is more comfortable hold her while the other feeds her during meals.

• Crying is good.  Crying lets you know when your child is hungry, tired or needs a diaper change.

• Don't be concerned if your child cries.  Crying is a way for the child to release some of their grief and loss.  It also can help you know when your child is hungry, needs to be changed or is tired.  Many children will stop crying if you simply go outside or into another room.  If weather allows, take your child outside for walks and let them get some fresh air.  If your child cries, hold them and let them know they are safe with you.

• Go with the child's schedule.  Put the priority on letting the child feel safe and secure.  Change your child's schedule after she has adjusted to you.

• Patience.  Don't worry.  Relax.  It will be all right.