Modern Airport in Addis Ababa

http://ethiopianhero.8.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=106 Other pictures.  Don't be surprised that the selected pictures do not represent the 'real' Addis Ababa.  Beautiful and interesting but struggling with deep economic needs.

What Happens When You Get There

You will be arriving at Bole International  Airport in Addis Ababa.  We have borrowed, in appreciation, from the blog of an adoptive parent to help prepare you for airport arrival.

It has always been night time when I have arrived in Addis. As you descend toward the airport, you can see the golden-yellow street lights along the Ring Road at the perimeter of the city and Bole Road lights pointing toward the heart of Addis. What a sight. It is so thrilling after such a long flight to finally be arriving in Ethiopia, finally arriving in your child's homeland.

Even in the dark, the airport gleams. The terminal is a newer building made up of large glass panels and a shiny silver structure. Inside it is open and spacious with high ceilings. Upon arriving, one of the first things you'll probably need to do is get your visa. Once off the plane follow the crowd down the stairs. The visa window is to the left in a big room where you end up at the bottom of the stairs.

You'll need to fill out a form that you'll find on a high table near the visa window. The fee is $20 (in crisp new US dollars, please!) and you'll also need to hand over your passport briefly. If you arrive in the wee hours of the morning (on British Airways) the line will probably be pretty short. If you come via Ethiopian or Lufthansa, you'll be arriving in the evening and the wait for that visa can take half an hour or more.

Across the big room from the visa window is a bank-window where you can change dollars into birr. Especially if you need to pay a cab-driver to get to your hotel, don't forget to get that money changed! The exchange rate is a little higher at the airport, I hear. But to me it was worth it to already have birr as soon as I walked out of the airport.

Once you have your visa and your money, you'll need to get your luggage. The baggage delivery was quick and efficient both times I was there. The next step is to go through immigration, which does not take long. Once outside, I always feel a little overwhelmed at the huge array of faces outside the door, looking and waiting. If your agency or your hotel is providing a shuttle, there may be a person with a sign bearing your name-- a very comforting sight in the sea of faces in this unfamiliar land.

From:  http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/index.php - Check it out for lots of good information

The CHI/Ethiopia Representative will meet you with a car for you and your luggage and take you to the House of Hope Transition Home and Guest House or your hotel.  Take time to relax and get a good night's rest.

Before departing for Ethiopia you will receive a simple itinerary (which is subject to change), from our office. 

Arriving in Addis Ababa:  You will be greeted by our Coordinator who will carry an identifying Children's Hope International sign.  She/he will welcome you to Ethiopia and will take you to the CHI House of Hope Guest Rooms or your hotel where you will stay the first evening.

Sunday

• Arrival: CHI staff meet you at the airport and take you to your hotel or to the House of Hope Guest House.

• Confirm with CHI/ET staff what time the following morning you should to be ready.

Monday

• If you are staying in a hotel, visit the House of Hope center where you will meet your child(ren). If you are staying at the Hope Center, you will do this right away in the morning. In most cases, you will receive your child(ren) into your care by the end of the day. If your child is older, you may wish to make this a more gradual transition, visiting with the child(ren) over a few days to get to know him/her/them gradually.

• Confirm with CHI/ET staff what time they will meet you to drive you to the embassy on Tuesday.

Tuesday

• If you wish to take advantage of your free time on Wednesday visiting some tourist or cultural sites, please inform the CHI/ET staff this morning so that he can make transportation arrangements.

• CHI staff will pick you up to take you to the US embassy for your visa interview. No cameras are allowed at the US embassy. Be prepared to check your bag at the front desk. Please take these documents with you:

• I-600 (Do not sign yet)

• Affidavit of Exemption from Vaccination Requirements for Adoptions

• Completed I864 packet and supplemental documents

• Copy of the pre-approval (I-171H) Notice of Favorable Determination from CIS

• Your passport and identification

Wednesday and Thursday

Free time, you may visit some tourist attractions if you wish, such as the National Museum, a church, the market; or take care of some shopping for supplies at the grocery store, etc. Please be aware that taking in some of these cultural sites may be difficult once you have your child, and you might want to stay home and play.

Friday / Last Day

• CHI/ET staff will pick up your child's passport containing the US visa at the embassy today and will then deliver this to you along with a sealed envelope from the embassy. Do not open this. An immigration officer at your port-of-entry into the U.S. will open it.  Pack it in your carry-on luggage so that it's accessible immediately after you arrive in the U.S. Additionally, prior to your leaving Addis, the CHI representative  should give you the original documents on your child(ren): birth certificate, court papers, referral, etc.

• Make a copy of all the child's documents to keep in a separate location in your hand baggage in case of loss of originals.

• If you require a transit visa, arrange with the CHI/ET representative to apply for one at the embassy for the country through which you are flying on your route home. You will need to submit your child's Ethiopian passport to obtain this visa, therefore you cannot take care of this earlier in the week as the passport is with the US embassy up until today.

• If you do not require a transit visa, this is likely your last day in Ethiopia. Pack your bags and good luck for a smooth flight home with child!

• Arrange with the front desk for an airport shuttle or talk to the CHI/ET about transportation options to the airport.

Shopping Tips

You may want to buy some special gifts to give your child for when they are older, maybe on special adoption anniversaries.  It is also nice to have items from Ethiopia around your home.  When in Ethiopia and sightseeing, take lots of pictures.  This is an important event in your life and a history for your child.  Suggested souvenirs for your child:   Your CHI Coordinator can help with your shopping needs.

MEETING YOUR CHILD AND ADVICE FOR A SMOOTH ADJUSTMENT

• Meeting your child is a moment you have been looking forward to for months now.  You may have a picture in your mind of how this meeting will be and may be disappointed when this precious moment does not exactly meet up to your dreams. 

• Be prepared for your child to be hesitant to come to you on the first meeting.  Remember you are a stranger to your child--he/she is not use to you and may even be afraid to come to you.

• Your child may have formed an attachment to his/her caregiver.  Your child will not be able to understand the miracle of becoming a part of your family and may experience loss or grief at leaving the people and surroundings he/she is accustomed to.  This grieving may take only a few days to get over or in rare cases longer.  This is normal - be patient and loving.

• Bubbles, candy in your pockets, and small toys can often give your child a positive image of you, lessening their fear of you, and easing a tense moment.  These items can often give a needed diversion to months of long awaited expectations or awkward moments.  Word to the wise: GO SLOW!  Take your cues from your child!

• Many of the things your child will experience with you are completely new to him/her.  He or she may burst into tears at any given time.  Just be as loving as possible.  You may feel you are prepared for this, but don?t be surprised if you experience some feelings of rejection if your child seems to prefer someone else besides you.  Most children will feel loved and secure with their adoptive parents very soon and will quickly begin forming a love and trust for you and your family.

• Adjustment is normal and no one will judge your capabilities as a parent by how quickly the child bonds with you. The time you spend in China with your child will be a time of adjustment for you and your child.  There may be times you feel unequipped to handle some of these adjustments.

• For the older child, give them their backpack and just a few small toys.  (You may want to give them their toys over several days, so as not to overwhelm them.)  DO NOT ever try to take this away from your child.  Remember, they may have never had their own possessions!  They may not even let you take off their coat for a while!  Give them time - they'll learn they are not going to lose it!  No need for power struggles, just try to put yourself in their place.

• Try to introduce new things gradually to your child.  Any new foods should be introduced slowly.  Realize that this may be hard for your child.  Do not force feed your child at any time.  Do not be concerned if they skip a few meals.  Their eating schedules may be irregular at first, but will soon become routine.  If you feel your child is not eating enough when you return home, you can ask your doctor about it.  (However, the reverse is true with most children!  You may be concerned they are eating too much ? they may never have gotten full in their lives, or they may think that this is the only meal of the day.  Don't worry, this too shall pass!)

• The child may favor one parent at first, remember this is temporary.  You might try having the spouse with whom the baby is more comfortable hold her while the other feeds her during meals.

• Crying is good.  Crying lets you know when your child is hungry, tired or needs a diaper change.

• Don't be concerned if your child cries.  Crying is a way for the child to release some of their grief and loss.  It also can help you know when your child is hungry, needs to be changed or is tired.  Many children will stop crying if you simply go outside or into another room.  If weather allows, take your child outside for walks and let them get some fresh air.  If your child cries, hold them and let them know they are safe with you.

• Go with the child's schedule.  Put the priority on letting the child feel safe and secure.  Change your child's schedule after she has adjusted to you.

• You may notice a blue-ish mark on the child's lower backside, ankle or arm.  Don't be alarmed - this is a birthmark called a Mongolian Spot.  Most Asian, Hispanic and Black children are born with this birthmark and it will fade as the child gets older.  The spots are purely cosmetic and have no impact on the child's health or well-being.

• You will be given information on your child's "Potty Schedule. 

• Patience.  Don't worry.  Relax.  It will be all right.  For the next 2-3 days, you will have a chance to get used to your child - and he/she to you.  You will have one appointment during this time - registration at the American Embassy.  You will also get a chance to do some sightseeing, shopping, and getting immersed in one of the world's great cultures.

Grieving
Recently I have had a couple of moms call me because they were concerned with the behavior of their child. In both cases their child was grieving (both toddlers). I was kind of surprised that the parents didn't recognize it for what it was because in both families this was their 2^nd adopted child, they had friends whose child went through this, they are active members of FCC, have read many books on the topic, attended many picnics, and had many friends who adopted.  It made me realize that I need to summarize what you could/might expect from your kids.

All six of your kids look like they are in VERY good shape.  That means that they are probably getting VERY good care, and it also means that they are probably attached to a special (nanny) at the orphanage.  The more your child is attached to the caregiver, the more likely that he/she will give you a hard time.  Below are the steps that your child may go through while grieving.  The older the child is the harder he/she might grieve.  The child may do it only in China.  They may do it only in U.S. and they may grieve in both countries.

First Stage --ZOMBIE STAGE---This stage scares parents because they think the child could be retarded. The child just stares over you and through you. He/she may not react to noise as if he/she might have a hearing problem. He/she may or may not eat or take a bottle when in this stage.  You may put the child to bed and he/she stares up at the ceiling and never moves. He/she looks like a frozen little robot.  The child does not usually want to be touched or held.  This first stage might go on for 3-4 days, this Zombie stage can last for one hour up to three or four times daily, or it can go on for hours and hours on end.   By day four it is usually happening occasionally off and on through out the day, but only lasts for a few minutes each time it happens. After 3-4 days all of a sudden she wakes up from a nap or bedtime, notices who you are and screams bloody murder. Next Stage!!

Second Stage--uncontrollable crying--- This stage is what most of you would expect for grieving.  The crying is just like an adult would cry who lost a loved one.  This is your opportunity to be there for her so that she can bond to you.  This stage can last from a few hours total ---all done--, or a few hours a day, or a few hours a day for three-fours days.  After this stage you will usually start to see the child needing you more, and a few smiles peak through.  You might see some of the child's true personality at this point. Hold her/him as much as possible during this stage.  The crying can get to you after awhile, but it is important that you be there to start that bonding (her with you).  Leah (Marianne's daughter) cried for hours and hours during this stage for about 2.5 days.  It didn't happen until we got back to the states.

Third stage.  This is the stage that concerns everyone. Parents think that the child is emotionally disturbed. If the child is in this stage he/she is feeling rage.  There will be frequent temper tantrums.  The tantrums can last one-four hours and often do.  It usually happens more with the toddlers.  Again, be there for the child, distract the child.  They get upset over the smallest thing in this stage.  It can be because it is time to leave the hotel, you  turned off the TV etc. Most of the time you won't even know what sparked it--the child won't either.   The child is just feeling ---how dare you take me away from everything I know, and everyone I love. How dare you think that I would be better off with you.  At that point the child gets very stubborn because he/she wants control of their life. This stage will usually last 2-3 days off and on in China, and it often comes and goes for a few weeks when you are back to the U.S.  Again this is a stage that usually-but not always- happens with 18 month-4 year olds. In this stage it is important that you be firm about what is and isn't appropriate behavior even if they are grieving.  In other words no matter how sad, it is not appropriate to bite, kick, or spit.  Make eye contact with the child and say NO.  You may feel uncomfortable doing this in front of Chinese people, but if you let it go over the two weeks it will be harder to get straightened out when you get home.  If you can't get the child straightened out during this rage, then go to your hotel room unless you are at an appointment.  Those of us (me included) who tried to be understanding and let that behavior go until we reached the U.S. wished we hadn't later.

Your child may experience all of these feelings or only one or two.  The kids under one year of age usually experience #2 stage.  The toddlers usually experience all three stages. The toddlers are apt to have the rage stage for 3-4 weeks after they get to the U.S.  It is normal and believe it or not, it is good!  It means that they loved someone and miss that person. That means that they will eventually love you. I have had some kids experience stage #2 after being home two-three months.

Another thing is, it will often take the kids awhile to trust you.  Why should they?  The orphanage who they trusted dumped them with you and they trusted that director for months-maybe years.  So if they don't trust you they don't want you to be out of their sight because maybe you will dump them also. This usually happens after they get back to the U.S.  Where you will probably see this lack of trust the most is during naps and when you are around other Asian people.

It can be so complicated --can't it?? But your child will be such a blessing and worth every bit of fear and frustration you will be feeling over the next few weeks.

If you have any questions please let me know.  I don't mean to scare you.  I think it is scarier if you don't know what is going on.  Also, if your child does not experience any of these stages, that does not mean we have a problem either.  The younger the baby the less apt you are to pick up on it.  He/she could be sleeping a lot to escape her/his grief. 

Marianne Adams
Arizona Branch Director

 

IN THE EMBASSY

The coordinator will also collect your Fee of $380 US dollars and you will be given a receipt after the appointment.  

Only the coordinator will go to the Consulate at the scheduled appointment time to submit the paperwork for the family. The Consulate will meet each family and their adopted child in the main visa section waiting room that afternoon and will administer the oath.  Please bring the original passports with you.  Please do not bring a camera, knife or scissors into Consulate. Since 9/11 photos are not permitted inside or outside of the Consulate.

You will receive your child's U.S. Visa late in the afternoon the following day.  It will be in a sealed packet to be given to Customs Officials in the U.S.  DO NOT open the packet or the visa will be invalidated!  Hand carry the envelope and turn it over to immigration officials at your U.S. port of entry.  You may want to photocopy the document stapled to the outside of the envelope (without detaching it) and keep for your records.

FLYING WITH YOUR CHILD

Come prepared with things to entertain your child with on the flight home.  These things will help both your child and you on the plane.  Sometimes children have problems with equalizing the pressure in their ears during the plane flight.  This can cause discomfort and the child may cry.  Especially during take off and landings, try giving your child a bottle or for the older child a sippie cup of juice, gum or candy, or something in their mouth to help alleviate this.  Keep Tylenol handy while flying - not for the man beside you - but for your child!!

 

IMMIGRATING YOUR CHILD

When you land in the U.S., you will be required to go through Immigration.  As a U.S. citizen all that is required of you is a simple verification of your passport.  Your child, however, will have to go through an additional process taking a few more minutes.  The CIS Officials will take your child's paperwork given to you by U.S Consulate.  The CIS Official will stamp and return your child's passport.  Your child's alien registration number will be recorded in the passport.  You will either receive your child's Certificate of Citizenship or 'green card' for permanent residency in the mail about 45 days later.  The document you will receive will depend of what type of visa (IR3 or IR4) your child received.   See Citizenship Act under Home Final Steps?.
 

INTRODUCING YOUR CHILD TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

When you come home, you have the great joy of introducing your child to your loved ones.  This is a very special time for you and your child, as well as for your family and friends.  Remember this will be new to your child and the excitement can be overwhelming for them.  Your child will still be in the process of adjusting and may feel insecure with all this.  Watch your child for cues to their level of comfort.  Other considerations may also include the age of your child, if they will be meeting other siblings, etc.  People may want to hold your child, but try to keep this to a minimum.  Your child may not understand that you are their -forever parent - and wonder if all the new folks are their next parents.  Offer a brief and loving explanation to those whom are eager to shower their love on your child.  Most people will understand this.

You may want to schedule an appointment with your child's pediatrician after you have received your travel itinerary.  Hopefully, your pediatrician will have experience in caring for children internationally adopted.  If not, you may wish to educate your pediatrician on what screening tests are recommended for internationally adopted children.  All screening tests should be completed before any immunizations are given-especially Hepatitis B vaccinations.  (Refer to post adoption information on recommended screening tests.)

 

HOME... FINAL STEPS

When you return home CHI will send a Post Adoption guide that will help you with:

1. Legalization of the Foreign Adoption. Contact a local lawyer and legalize your adoption in the U.S. and in your state. This may not be required if both parents traveled to the country, but is strongly recommended in order to receive a U.S. birth certificate of foreign birth or a state birth certificate with the child's English name. Laws vary from state to state.
   
   If both parents did not see the child before the adoption took place, parents will need to readopt in state of residence. Automatic citizenship will only occur after readoption takes place and you will need to apply for proof of citizenship (Certificate of Citizenship or a US Passport.)

2. Citizenship. On October 30, 2000, President Clinton signed into law H.R. 2883, the Child Citizenship Act of 2000. The new law, Public Law 106-395, amends the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) to permit foreign-born children, including adopted children, to acquire citizenship automatically if they meet the following requirements: 1) Child is under 18 years of age, 2) At least one parent is a US citizen, 3) Child is residing in the US in the legal and physical custody of the US citizen parent, 4) The child was adopted pursuant to a full, final and complete adoption.  This law went into effect   February 27, 2001. 
   
   As of January 2004, the CIS will automatically send the Certificate of Citizenship to all children that enter the US on an IR 3 visa.  Expect to receive it about 45 days after entering the US.

3. Post-Placement Reports. Three post-placement reports are required by CHI for China (at 3, 6 and 12 months after the adoption is completed).  In the case that the adopted child did not become a citizen within one year, post-placement reports will be required by China once every six months, until the child is granted citizenship. Post-placement reports must be completed by a social worker affiliated with a licensed child placing agency and must be sent to us in a timely manner, so we can send your report to the country's officials. Please make sure your reports are not completed too early.  These positive reports are very important and help contribute to the continuance of the adoption program in the country.  Failure to submit post-placement reports as required, will result in notification of family's local Division of Child and Family Services.

4. Plus information on: Medical and Health Issues, obtaining Social Security cards, Federal and State Tax Credits

A lot to remember?  Well, remember this.  Everything is going to be just fine! -- so relax and enjoy.  Ethiopia is wonderful -- but it is not America, so don't expect it to be.  Discover it for what it is.  You're going to be bringing home that beautiful gift to be yours forever and so we ask God's blessings to be richly with you now and always.

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