Before departing for China you will receive a simple itinerary (which is subject to change), and a group list from our office.  When arriving in China we ask that your wear the CHI button that was sent to you so the coordinators can easily identify you.

If you are arriving in Beijing:  You will be greeted by our Coordinator who will carry an identifying ?Children?s Hope International? sign.  She/he will welcome you to China and will take you to your hotel where you will stay the first evening.

If you are arriving in Guangzhou:  If your child is from the Guangdong Province you will be greeted by our Coordinator and taken to the hotel.

Day One:  After breakfast the first morning, the Coordinator will have your day (and your whole trip) mapped out and give you helpful hints about your trip.  The first day will be reserved for an orientation meeting, sightseeing, shopping and time to rest.

Day Two: You will travel to the province where you are adopting.  The orphanage officials will likely bring your child to your hotel on this day or the next day; OR you may receive your child at the local adoption center (Civil Affairs Office).  Most groups no longer travel to the orphanage.  CHI will request permission for the families to travel to the orphanage when making the adoption arrangements with the provincial officials and the orphanage director.  Permission is required for a visit and we will list information on the itinerary if this permission was granted prior to your traveling. 

Ask your coordinator to help you buy some Chinese formula before your baby arrives.  You will have a chance to talk to the aunties about formula and other matters concerning the baby.  Make a list of questions you would like to ask your child?s auntie.  At this time you will give the orphanage donation, if the donation was not wired by CHI.

Orphanage officials may come to your hotel room a few days after you have received your child to make sure everything is fine.  We should say that in some cases, older children have interpreted this as meaning they must go back to the orphanage.  Just assure them that this is just a time to say good-bye to the orphanage officials. 

Shopping Tips
You may want to buy some special gifts to give your child for when they are older, maybe on special adoption anniversaries.  It is also nice to have items from China around your home.  When in China and sightseeing, take lots of pictures.  This is an important event in your life and a history for your child.  Suggested souvenirs for your child:  A ?chop? in her Chinese name, silver or gold bracelets, map of the province where your child was adopted, jade bracelets, pearl earrings and necklace, silk pajamas (several different sizes), pictures painted on silk, books written in both Chinese and English.  Your CHI Coordinator can help with your shopping needs.

MEETING YOUR CHILD AND ADVICE FOR A SMOOTH ADJUSTMENT

?         Meeting your child is a moment you have been looking forward to for months now.  You may have a picture in your mind of how this meeting will be and may be disappointed when this precious moment does not exactly meet up to your dreams. 

?         Be prepared for your child to be hesitant to come to you on the first meeting.  Remember you are a stranger to your child--he/she is not use to you and may even be afraid to come to you.

?        Your child may have formed an attachment to his/her caregiver.  Your child will not be able to understand the miracle of becoming a part of your family and may experience loss or grief at leaving the people and surroundings he/she is accustomed to.  This grieving may take only a few days to get over or in rare cases longer.  This is normal?be patient and loving.

?         Bubbles, candy in your pockets, and small toys can often give your child a positive image of you, lessening their fear of you, and easing a tense moment.  These items can often give a needed diversion to months of long awaited expectations or awkward moments.  Word to the wise: GO SLOW!  Take your cues from your child!

?         Many of the things your child will experience with you are completely new to him/her.  He or she may burst into tears at any given time.  Just be as loving as possible.  You may feel you are prepared for this, but don?t be surprised if you experience some feelings of rejection if your child seems to prefer someone else besides you.  Most children will feel loved and secure with their adoptive parents very soon and will quickly begin forming a love and trust for you and your family.

?         Adjustment is normal and no one will judge your capabilities as a parent by how quickly the child bonds with you. The time you spend in China with your child will be a time of adjustment for you and your child.  There may be times you feel unequipped to handle some of these adjustments.

?         For the older child, give them their backpack and just a few small toys.  (You may want to give them their toys over several days, so as not to overwhelm them.)  DO NOT ever try to take this away from your child.  Remember, they may have never had their own possessions!  They may not even let you take off their coat for a while!  Give them time?they?ll learn they are not going to lose it!  No need for power struggles, just try to put yourself in their place.

?         Try to introduce new things gradually to your child.  Any new foods should be introduced slowly.  Realize that this may be hard for your child.  Do not force feed your child at any time.  Do not be concerned if they skip a few meals.  Their eating schedules may be irregular at first, but will soon become routine.  If you feel your child is not eating enough when you return home, you can ask your doctor about it.  (However, the reverse is true with most children!  You may be concerned they are eating too much ? they may never have gotten full in their lives, or they may think that this is the only meal of the day.  Don?t worry, this too shall pass!)

?        The child may favor one parent at first, remember this is temporary.  You might try having the spouse with whom the baby is more comfortable hold her while the other feeds her during meals.

?        Crying is good.  Crying lets you know when your child is hungry, tired or needs a diaper change.

?        Don?t be concerned if your child cries.  Crying is a way for the child to release some of their grief and loss.  It also can help you know when your child is hungry, needs to be changed or is tired.  Many children will stop crying if you simply go outside or into another room.  If weather allows, take your child outside for walks and let them get some fresh air.  If your child cries, hold them and let them know they are safe with you.

?        Go with the child?s schedule.  Put the priority on letting the child feel safe and secure.  Change your child?s schedule after she has adjusted to you.

?        You may notice a blue-ish mark on the child?s lower backside, ankle or arm.  Don?t be alarmed ? this is a birthmark called a Mongolian Spot.  Most Asian, Hispanic and Black children are born with this birthmark and it will fade as the child gets older.  The spots are purely cosmetic and have no impact on the child?s health or well-being.

?        You will be given information on your child?s ?Potty Schedule?.  If you put your child on the toilet at these times and make a ?Shhhhh? sound your child will urinate and ?poop? in the toilet.  This is hard for American?s to believe, but most of the Chinese children are ?potty trained? by the time they are six months of age.  If the child is not put on the toilet on his/her ?poop? schedule, he/she will probably become constipated and suffer discomfort.  After time the child will regress, so be prepared.

?        Patience.  Don?t worry.  Relax.  It will be all right.  For the next 2-3 days, you will have a chance to get used to your child ? and he/she to you.  You will have two appointments during this time ? registration and notary work with Chinese government officials.  You will also get a chance to do some sightseeing, shopping, and getting immersed in one of the world?s great cultures.

Grieving

Recently I have had a couple of moms call me from China because they were concerned with the behavior of their child. In both cases their child was grieving (both toddlers). I was kind of surprised that the parents didn't recognize it for what it was because in both families this was their 2^nd adopted child, they had friends whose child went through this, they are active members of FCC, have read many books on the topic, attended many picnics, and had many friends who adopted.  It made me realize that I need to summarize what you could/might expect from your kids.

All six of your kids look like they are in VERY good shape.  That means that they are probably getting VERY good care, and it also means that they are probably attached to a special A Yi (nanny) at the orphanage.  The more your child is attached to the caregiver, the more likely that he/she will give you a hard time.  Below are the steps that your child may go through while grieving.  The older the child is the harder he/she might grieve.  The child may do it only in China.  They may do it only in U.S. and they may grieve in both countries.

First Stage --ZOMBIE STAGE---This stage scares parents because they think the child could be retarded. The child just stares over you and through you. He/she may not react to noise as if he/she might have a hearing problem. He/she may or may not eat or take a bottle when in this stage.  You may put the child to bed and he/she stares up at the ceiling and never moves. He/she looks like a frozen little robot.  The child does not usually want to be touched or held.  This first stage might go on for 3-4 days, this Zombie stage can last for one hour up to three or four times daily, or it can go on for hours and hours on end.   By day four it is usually happening occasionally off and on through out the day, but only lasts for a few minutes each time it happens. After 3-4 days all of a sudden she wakes up from a nap or bedtime, notices who you are and screams bloody murder. Next Stage!!

Second Stage--uncontrollable crying--- This stage is what most of you would expect for grieving.  The crying is just like an adult would cry who lost a loved one.  This is your opportunity to be there for her so that she can bond to you.  This stage can last from a few hours total ---all done--, or a few hours a day, or a few hours a day for three-fours days.  After this stage you will usually start to see the child needing you more, and a few smiles peak through.  You might see some of the child?s true personality at this point. Hold her/him as much as possible during this stage.  The crying can get to you after awhile, but it is important that you be there to start that bonding (her with you).  Leah (Marianne?s daughter) cried for hours and hours during this stage for about 2.5 days.  It didn't happen until we got back to the states.

Third stage.  This is the stage that concerns everyone. Parents think that the child is emotionally disturbed. If the child is in this stage he/she is feeling rage.  There will be frequent temper tantrums.  The tantrums can last one-four hours and often do.  It usually happens more with the toddlers.  Again, be there for the child, distract the child.  They get upset over the smallest thing in this stage.  It can be because it is time to leave the hotel, you  turned off the TV etc. Most of the time you won't even know what sparked it--the child won't either.   The child is just feeling ---how dare you take me away from everything I know, and everyone I love. How dare you think that I would be better off with you.  At that point the child gets very stubborn because he/she wants control of their life. This stage will usually last 2-3 days off and on in China, and it often comes and goes for a few weeks when you are back to the U.S.  Again this is a stage that usually-but not always- happens with 18 month-4 year olds. In this stage it is important that you be firm about what is and isn't appropriate behavior even if they are grieving.  In other words no matter how sad, it is not appropriate to bite, kick, or spit.  Make eye contact with the child and say NO.  You may feel uncomfortable doing this in front of Chinese people, but if you let it go over the two weeks it will be harder to get straightened out when you get home.  If you can't get the child straightened out during this rage, then go to your hotel room unless you are at an appointment.  Those of us (me included) who tried to be understanding and let that behavior go until we reached the U.S. wished we hadn't later.

Your child may experience all of these feelings or only one or two.  The kids under one year of age usually experience #2 stage.  The toddlers usually experience all three stages. The toddlers are apt to have the rage stage for 3-4 weeks after they get to the U.S.  It is normal and believe it or not, it is good!  It means that they loved someone and miss that person. That means that they will eventually love you. I have had some kids experience stage #2 after being home two-three months.

Another thing is, it will often take the kids awhile to trust you.  Why should they?  The orphanage who they trusted dumped them with you and they trusted that director for months-maybe years.  So if they don't trust you they don't want you to be out of their sight because maybe you will dump them also. This usually happens after they get back to the U.S.  Where you will probably see this lack of trust the most is during naps and when you are around other Asian people.

It can be so complicated --can't it?? But your child will be such a blessing and worth every bit of fear and frustration you will be feeling over the next few weeks.

If you have any questions please let me know.  I don't mean to scare you.  I think it is scarier if you don't know what is going on.  Also, if your child does not experience any of these stages, that does not mean we have a problem either.  The younger the baby the less apt you are to pick up on it.  He/she could be sleeping a lot to escape her/his grief. 

Marianne Adams
Arizona Branch Director

IN GUANGZHOU

After you receive your child?s passport and legal papers, the coordinator will accompany you on a flight to Guangzhou.  Then a bus will take you to your hotel, most likely, the White Swan Hotel.  It?s one of the world?s loveliest hotels.  The White Swan is located on the Pearl River and is next door to the American Consulate, where you will be visiting.

In Guangzhou, the Coordinator will take you to the medical clinic designated by the American Consulate for a brief medical exam of the baby: eye, ear, nose and throat with an EKG and measurement and weighing.  Cost is about $65.00US.  The Coordinator will also take you to get the visa photos for your child.

Before your American Consulate appointment, the coordinator will have met with the group to go over what you will need and to help you fill out the needed documents. A plastic folder labeled with your name and CHI will be provided along with the Adoption Documents Checklist and your completed documents must be submitted to the Consulate in the folder.  The coordinator will also collect your Fee of $380 US dollars and you will be given a receipt after the appointment.  

Only the coordinator will go to the Consulate at the scheduled appointment time to submit the paperwork for the family. The Consulate will meet each family and their adopted child in the main visa section waiting room that afternoon and will administer the oath.  Please bring the original passports with you.  Please do not bring a camera, knife or scissors into Consulate. Since 9/11 photos are not permitted inside or outside of the Consulate.

You will receive your child?s U.S. Visa late in the afternoon the following day.  It will be in a sealed packet to be given to Customs Officials in the U.S.  DO NOT open the packet or the visa will be invalidated!  Hand carry the envelope and turn it over to immigration officials at your U.S. port of entry.  You may want to photocopy the document stapled to the outside of the envelope (without detaching it) and keep for your records.

Direct flights back to the US are available from Guangzhou, Hong Kong and Beijing.  Your Coordinator will see you off at the Guangzhou airport.

FLYING WITH YOUR CHILD

Come prepared with things to entertain your child with on the flight home.  These things will help both your child and you on the plane.  Sometimes children have problems with equalizing the pressure in their ears during the plane flight.  This can cause discomfort and the child may cry.  Especially during take off and landings, try giving your child a bottle or for the older child a sippie cup of juice, gum or candy, or something in their mouth to help alleviate this.  Keep Tylenol handy while flying ? not for the man beside you ? but for your child!!

IMMIGRATING YOUR CHILD

When you land in the U.S., you will be required to go through Immigration.  As a U.S. citizen all that is required of you is a simple verification of your passport.  Your child, however, will have to go through an additional process taking a few more minutes.  The CIS Officials will take your child?s paperwork given to you by U.S Consulate.  The CIS Official will stamp and return your child?s passport.  Your child?s alien registration number will be recorded in the passport.  You will either receive your child?s Certificate of Citizenship or ?green card? for permanent residency in the mail about 45 days later.  The document you will receive will depend of what type of visa (IR3 or IR4) your child received.   See Citizenship Act under ?Home?Final Steps?.
 

INTRODUCING YOUR CHILD TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS

When you come home, you have the great joy of introducing your child to your loved ones.  This is a very special time for you and your child, as well as for your family and friends.  Remember this will be new to your child and the excitement can be overwhelming for them.  Your child will still be in the process of adjusting and may feel insecure with all this.  Watch your child for cues to their level of comfort.  Other considerations may also include the age of your child, if they will be meeting other siblings, etc.  People may want to hold your child, but try to keep this to a minimum.  Your child may not understand that you are their ?forever parent? and wonder if all the new folks are their next parents.  Offer a brief and loving explanation to those whom are eager to shower their love on your child.  Most people will understand this.

You may want to schedule an appointment with your child?s pediatrician after you have received your travel itinerary.  Hopefully, your pediatrician will have experience in caring for children internationally adopted.  If not, you may wish to educate your pediatrician on what screening tests are recommended for internationally adopted children.  All screening tests should be completed before any immunizations are given-especially Hepatitis B vaccinations.  (Refer to post adoption information on recommended screening tests.)

 

HOME ?.. FINAL STEPS

When you return home CHI will send a Post Adoption guide that will help you with:

1.      Legalization of the Foreign Adoption. Contact a local lawyer and legalize your adoption in the U.S. and in your state. This may not be required if both parents traveled to the country, but is strongly recommended in order to receive a U.S. birth certificate of foreign birth or a state birth certificate with the child?s English name. Laws vary from state to state.

If both parents did not see the child before the adoption took place, parents will need to readopt in state of residence. Automatic citizenship will only occur after readoption takes place and you will need to apply for proof of citizenship (Certificate of Citizenship or a US Passport.)

2.      Citizenship. On October 30, 2000, President Clinton signed into law H.R. 2883, the Child Citizenship Act of 2000. The new law, Public Law 106-395, amends the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) to permit foreign-born children, including adopted children, to acquire citizenship automatically if they meet the following requirements: 1) Child is under 18 years of age, 2) At least one parent is a US citizen, 3) Child is residing in the US in the legal and physical custody of the US citizen parent, 4) The child was adopted pursuant to a full, final and complete adoption.  This law went into effect   February 27, 2001. 

As of January 2004, the CIS will automatically send the Certificate of Citizenship to all children that enter the US on an IR 3 visa.  Expect to receive it about 45 days after entering the US.

3.      Post-Placement Reports. Three post-placement reports are required by CHI for China (at 3, 6 and 12 months after the adoption is completed).  In the case that the adopted child did not become a citizen within one year, post-placement reports will be required by China once every six months, until the child is granted citizenship. Post-placement reports must be completed by a social worker affiliated with a licensed child placing agency and must be sent to us in a timely manner, so we can send your report to the country?s officials. Please make sure your reports are not completed too early.  These positive reports are very important and help contribute to the continuance of the adoption program in the country.  Failure to submit post-placement reports as required, will result in notification of family?s local Division of Child and Family Services.

4.      Plus information on: Medical and Health Issues, obtaining Social Security cards, Federal and State Tax Credits

A lot to remember?  Well, remember this.  Everything is going to be just fine! -- so relax and enjoy.  China is wonderful -- but it is not America, so don't expect it to be.  Discover it for what it is.  You're going to be bringing home that beautiful gift to be yours forever and so we ask God's blessings to be richly with you now and always.

SPECIAL POWER OF ATTORNEY