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We are now one!
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Hmmm, I was asked to write a story of my
recent adoption of Liana. I am not sure whether to start and
title it “My day as an at-home cleaning woman” or “Why did I
wait so long?”. This has been an amazing journey, which
started looong ago. As a child, I knew I would some day be a
mother; it was just ingrained in me that it would happen.
Nine years ago, a co-worker adopted a baby from China
through Cascade International Children’s Services, which has
since become Children’s Hope International (CHI); I was told
then that I should just adopt. However, it wasn’t time for
me; my daughter wasn’t there yet. After many years of
trials, tribulations, and pure fun, it became time for me to
start my journey. I made my decision to adopt on May 3, 2004
and then within a week, decided I wanted to adopt from China
using CHI. As a single, I needed a coveted “single slot”
since only 8% of all adoption applications to China can be
singles. However, it was the right time and it was meant to
be, so I received one of 25 slots that CHI had nationwide in
July 2004 and I was able to start my paperwork. Just like
all of the other adoptive parents, I did all of my
paperwork, fretted about any delays and stressed about when
I would get my baby.
Then the time finally came. I went to Beijing
early to learn about my daughter’s homeland. At that point,
when meeting the other parents in my referral group, the
adoption part wasn’t real. I was just on vacation meeting
people I’d conversed with over e-mail for 10 months. Then we
traveled to Nanning, met Dennis our awesome province guide,
started doing the final paperwork, money counting, gift
wrapping and turning into a bundle of nerves. I am not an
overly emotionally demonstrative person ─ I have difficulty
crying in public ─ so I was really unsure how I was going to
react when I met the daughter I had felt in my heart for 41
years. Dennis told us all to remain calm and concentrate on
the babies, ignoring our emotions, because the babies could
feel our anxiety and it would make them more upset. |
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The babies walked into the room and I picked
out the wrong baby as mine (just the beginning of a lifetime
of mommy errors, I’m sure). Min Xing Shan was called as the
third baby and everything else stopped and disappeared. This
gorgeous sweet child was in my arms, looking at me and
taking everything in around her. I could hear other babies
crying somewhere outside my tunnel vision, which caused her
to start looking nervous and start singing to herself for
comfort. I had expected her to refuse to look at me and cry
for days in grief. However, her method of coping was to shut
down all emotions, so she was expressionless and then sang
to herself. I just smiled at her and bounced ─ and I don’t
think I quit the rest of the time in China. I don’t know how
long we were in that room, although I know I met her nanny
who loved her and told me in English my daughter was one of
her favorites. Her nanny had given her a silver bracelet
that had both of their names engraved, along with the date
of 10/9/05, to show her love. I had my questions interpreted
and everything documented on video before we started heading
to the bus. On the bus, I started to turn her on my lap, so
I took her arm off of my shoulder; she yanked it back with a
death grip – we are now one!
We have been home from China for almost a
month now and I no longer see my daughter simply as a
gorgeous child. I see her as Liana, with a fun and amazing
personality. I am so lucky and thankful that the time was
right and our lives were joined. I still wonder, though, why
wasn't the right time earlier? |
