From Russia (and China) with love

By BONNIE BURCH
Staff Writer
 

Many of those children have come to Williamson County.
 ''I think international adoption has changed in the last few years in that it's become more common. But there are still lots and lots of children out there that are in need of families.  

And here at home, there are still potential parents that we can still reach,'' said Brenda Barker, director of the Southeast Region office.

Barker and her husband, Ken, have adopted seven children internationally.

Charles and Rebecca Dorris of Brentwood, who adopted two girls from China, said it didn't matter that their children would not look physically like them.

''What our daughters hear is, 'You are our daughter. We went to China to get you. You will live with us.' They'll always know that,'' he said.

At first, the Dorrises hadn't considered having children, Charles said.

''We have 17 nieces and nephews. And we were really content to have each other and a cat,'' he said.

But after many years together, the two decided their lives would be wonderfully changed with children.

The couple settled on China because of the country's ability to process adoptions smoothly. Usually, children can go home with their new families after parents — who have been carefully screened — make only one trip to China.

''The Chinese system is very predictable, which isn't the same as I've heard happens in other countries. In China, we were very comfortable. You are the guest of the Chinese government. People were very kind to us wherever we went,'' he said.

They began the process of adopting a girl through Children's Hope International. Children from China are referred to prospective parents.

''When Brenda calls to tell you that you've got a reference, she'll say, 'It's a girl.' So that's not unlike the delivery room experience. It can be a little different, though, to know that you are parents and not have your child in your arms yet,'' Rebecca said.

''The emotions are similar to a birth when you first see your child. It took about two years from when we first began the process to when we saw our child, so Rebecca was 'pregnant' for the better of two years,'' her husband said.

On April 15, 2002, the couple on their first trip to China finally got to that imaginary delivery room when a caregiver introduced them to a 10-month-old baby girl who smiled and cooed while she reached for her new father's glasses and played with the whiskers of his goatee.

The couple named their new daughter Zara, while keeping her Chinese birth name, Wen, as her middle name.

After their return home, they had such a positive experience raising Zara that they decided to add to the family. Again, they turned to China for a second adoption. And Zara was happy about getting a new baby sister, who they decided would be named Zena.

''Zara started calling her Baby Zena. Baby Zena, who is in China, waiting for us,'' Rebecca said.

The Dorrises picked up their second daughter Zena, who also received Ting, her birth name, as her middle name, on Feb. 15, 2004. Her caregiver — a tall, retired military man — handed her over to her new family with tears in his eyes.

''He gave us a little hat that his wife had knitted for her. We'll keep that forever,'' Charles said.

As the girls grow up with American culture, their parents have shown an interest in the culture of China. They've learned a few words, study picture books and watch videos of Big Bird in China. They also hope the girls can return to their birthplace on trips as they grow older.

''China has become my second-favorite country,'' Charles said.

The couple have also joined a local group, Families with Children from China, who support each other while celebrating traditional Chinese holidays, such as the fall moon festival and Chinese New Year's.

Kathy and Michael Smardak also worked through Children's Hope International to adopt a girl from Russia.

With both Smardaks in their mid-40s, the couple decided to adopt internationally because they thought that a domestic birthmother may have considered them too old to care for a child.

The couple began the process in August 2002. But the hardest part was waiting for a letter of approval authorizing the adoption, Kathy Smardak said.

After the Brentwood couple was approved, they traveled to Russia to finally meet the child who had become such a big part of their dreams and prayers. Because of Russian adoption laws, the Smardaks didn't know anything about the baby and had never seen a picture of her.

''I liken it to diving into a swimming pool and getting a big rush. And when we found out she was born Aug. 3, 2002, just as we had started the process, I knew she would be our baby,'' she said.

''When we got to the 'baby house,' we had prepared for the fact that she might be afraid of us. After all, we were complete strangers. But when they brought her in, she had the biggest smile on her face. She leaned right over to us like she knew who we were. We got to play with her for an hour and she laid her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. Instantly, I fell in love with her as if I'd known her all my life.''

But as is customary in Russia, prospective parents must return to their home country without their child for a couple of months to await more paperwork. The Smardaks tried to keep busy without the little girl by preparing her room and counting the days until their second trip to Russia.

''You don't know when you'll see your child again and that was hard. You always think of the worse case. What if something happens? What if they say 'no'? And we had seen her the third week of March, so we were sure she would have forgotten us by May,'' she said.

Her fears were laid to rest after their second journey when the child looked right at them as a large smile crossed her young face.

''She was two months older but it was like we never left,'' Kathy said.

They decided to name the girl Sasha and added her birth name, Korina, as her middle name, and Amara, or ''wished for child,'' as a third name.

Michael Smardak also had a winning smile that charmed the Russian judge, who finalized the adoption. As Sasha's new father answered questions posed to him in the courtroom, he punctuated each sentence with a grin.

''The translator told us that the judge said to my husband, 'You have a very nice smile.' We could have had a 10-day waiting period but she waived it,'' Kathy said.

Most of the 16-hour flight home, Sasha slept or charmed the flight attendants.

Now a talkative 2-year-old, Sasha knows the story of her adoption by heart.

''We tell her the story when she goes to bed and when I reach the part where the judge asks us what do you want to name her, Sasha will always speak right up with 'Sasha Smardak,' '' her mother said.

The couple has filled their home with books about Russia and brought up their daughter with folk tales about Father Frost.

The Smardeks have also talked about beginning the process again to bring home a new Russian brother.

''One of the beauties of adoption overall is that you are rescuing these children. For whatever reason, their biological parents aren't able to care for them. It's a beautiful thing for someone to step in and say, 'I will be your momma or your daddy and I will provide for you,' '' Charles Dorris said.

Children's Hope International has 11 regional offices across the country with international offices in Beijing, Moscow and Ho Chi Min City, Vietnam. The accredited agency has finalized more than 800 adoptions in 2004 in seven countries, including not only China, Russia and Vietnam but Colombia, India, Nepal and Kazakhstan.

In addition to facilitating international adoptions, the agency also offers educational seminars, parent training classes and social opportunities for adoptive families, such as waiting mother coffees and new parent get-togethers.

An informational session on international adoption for prospective parents is scheduled at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 9, at the Brentwood office, 7003 Chadwick Drive. For more information, call 309-8109.