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Several families
in Southeast Missouri are part of a growing population
of adoptive parents nationwide taking a new approach
to raising their foreign-born children. Rather than
downplaying their children's differences as was so
often done in the past, parents are now embracing them
in hopes that greater understanding will lead to
greater acceptance.
Ever since kindergarten, Clara Snyder has celebrated
Chinese New Year with her classmates at Orchard
Elementary School in Jackson. Since Clara and her
younger sister were born in China, their parents want
to make sure the girls still keep some connections to
their birth country.
So Judy Snyder crafted a paper-mache dragon head and a
tail that takes five children to operate. The dragon
makes an appearance each year for Chinese New Year at
the school.
Clara, 8, says she doesn't feel any differently from
her classmates because she is a Chinese-American. "If
people ask where I'm from or think they know, they
always say Japan," Clara said.
During her first year at school, the children noticed
that Clara looked differently than they did, but now
they don't seem to care, said Judy Snyder.
Snyder hasn't had any negative experiences out in
public with her two daughters. In fact, she says
people almost always smile at them.
When Clara was younger, "everywhere we went, and
people saw us, they smiled," she said. "What a
wonderful way to go through life, and what a wonderful
perspective to have on the world."
Since she was a toddler, Clara has known of her
adoption. She even traveled with her parents to China
to pick up a 10-month-old Lizzie from the orphanage in
2002.
Judy Snyder said raising an Asian child as an only
child in the Midwest where there is a relatively small
Asian population seemed unfair. "And everybody needs a
sister," she said. So the Snyders began the process
for adopting a second daughter -- Lizzie, now 3.
The adoption trip also was a good experience for
Clara, who was able to learn about her own adoption,
Judy said. "We talked to her about the trip we took to
get her." During Clara's adoption, the Snyders spent
17 days in China. They stayed 12 days for Lizzie's
adoption.
The family drew some attention in China, partly
because both she and her husband are tall, Judy Snyder
said.
But back in the states that's not the case. "When I
look at my girls, I don't see Asian children. When I
look at them, I just see my kids."
Experts and other adoptive parents say children who
understand their differences can better respond to
ignorance throughout their lives -- ignorance that
could damage their future relationships, romances and
even careers if they aren't equipped to handle it. And
they say it could reduce the teasing adopted children
may endure.
Teaching Asian children in small, white communities
about their heritage also helps them forge racial
identities as children instead of finding themselves
confused as teens or adults, said Kathleen Ja Sook
Bergquist, a social-work professor at the University
of Nevada.
Keeping their daughters' attuned to Chinese culture
was always a consideration, Judy Snyder said, because
family heritage is important to both she and her
husband, a second-generation American.
"There are a lot of families that take their children
to Chinese school in St. Louis to learn culture and
language," Judy Snyder said. And the Snyders talked
about that, but realized that their daughters are
American and they should learn to respect many
cultures, including their Chinese and American
backgrounds.
The Snyders try to attend at least one or two events
in St. Louis each year so their daughters will know
about their culture. The events range from activities
sponsored by the Chinese-American Society or exhibits
at the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
Jane Freyfogle, a social worker with Lifelink
International Adoption agency's Champaign office, said
adoptive parents can go a long way to help their
children deal with life in small towns by making sure
they know they're not alone. Trips to cities, where
kids can see other Asian faces, or to culture camps,
where adoptees gather to learn about their heritage,
can all help children overcome the sense of isolation
they may feel at home.
"For folks in rural communities, they have to work
harder at it," Freyfogle said. "They have to look for
it. They have to travel for it."
Last year, Americans adopted 8,649 children from China
and South Korea, the most children from any foreign
region, according to the U.S. Department of State --
and that number is only increasing.
China and South Korea both have laws which permit --
and even encourage -- adoption by foreign parents.
Additionally, China, because of its immense population
and strict family planning laws, has a large number of
unwanted female infants every year. The two countries
have no religious restrictions on who may adopt, and
are open to adoption by older parents who can find it
difficult to compete for the limited number of
children available within the United States for
domestic adoption.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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