Like many other adoptive parents,
our adoption journey consisted of a lot of waiting. From waiting
for paperwork, clearances, approvals, and a referral, we gained
a lot of ?wait? in our journey to adopt a baby from Colombia.
The wait time increased greatly after we
submitted our dossier
and we struggled with the uncertain time frames. It was so easy
to doubt that this dream would ever be realized. God was
faithful, however, and He used that period of waiting to take us
on a spiritual journey.
God spoke to me during this time of
waiting, and I learned many invaluable lessons. One day, as I
opened a box of quilt clips that I had ordered for our baby?s
room, I saw a slip of paper with these words typed:
"I still dare to hope when I
remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His
mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is
thy faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day."
The end of that verse (Lamentations
3:21-23) is very well-known, but I was struck by the phrase
"dare to hope." I'm not sure what translation that is, but I
love the wording. I decided to find that passage in both the NIV
and the Message. Both translations of this are amazing! I was
struck by the Message's take on this, especially the verses that
come right after what I just quoted (Lam. 3:25-33)
"God proves to be good to the man
who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's
a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the
hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by
yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear."
This hit me in so many ways. I can
be still and quietly hope, but I can also passionately wait. For
a while I had felt guilty, thinking that I must not have enough
faith if I couldn't wait in a serene state of mind. This verse
revealed to me that it's ok to be passionate and to yearn for
something while waiting and hoping. It is very freeing. I was
reminded that I needed to persevere for the child who needed me,
even though sometimes I wanted to quit.
One more thing from this passage,
verses 19-21:
?I'll never forget the trouble, the
utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I
remember it all- oh, how well I remember- the feeling of hitting
bottom. But there's one thing I remember, and remembering, I
keep a grip on hope.?
Our hope was rewarded. After three
years of waiting we did receive a referral and before we knew it
we were walking into the ICBF office in Bucaramanga Colombia to
meet our son, Drew. We had been on a spiritual journey long
before our physical journey began. Waiting for Drew taught us
about hope, faith, trust, and what it means to wait
passionately. As the wait grew, we literally had to dare
ourselves to hope; our natural reaction was to believe this day
would never come. We dared to hope that this journey would bring
us to our child.
Now, five months after our journey
to Colombia, we have an incredibly sweet, happy, silly, and
mischievous toddler. Coming home was the beginning of another
journey, as we learn how to be a family of four. Drew and his
big brother David are learning how to interact and play
together. We are learning how to be parents to two toddler boys. I am learning about love, in a way I never felt before. There is
nothing like hearing Drew?s sweet little voice say ?Mommy? and
give me a hug and a kiss. There is nothing like hearing my sons
laugh together. Five months ago a dream was realized and our
heart, as well as our home, was expanded.
I won't forget the pain of waiting,
the questioning and doubting, and those emotions played into my
initial reaction of shock and weariness when I first heard that
we had been assigned a child. It's ok to remember that difficult
time, and in fact, it's good to remember. Even if there had not
been a happy ending, this journey was worth it for the sake of
the journey, for the things God taught me along the way. Since
we decided to adopt almost four years ago, God has worked in me
in ways I never would have imagined. He also put into me a deep
love and compassion for the children of the world - HIS
children- who are in need. I still have that slip of paper from
the quilt clip box, and when I look at it now and read God?s
words, his promise of hope and faithfulness, all I can say is
?Thank you, thank you for the journey.?
Erin Inghram
www.prepraringforrain.blogspot.com
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