It?s important for any parent to be
involved in their child?s life at school, but it becomes
seriously important when an internationally adopted child has
academic, developmental or emotional concerns.
Post-institutional issues in adopted children are sometimes
exacerbated by starting school or by the structure of the
classroom, but most teachers do not have a student ratio that
allows them to administer a large amount of personal attention
to one struggling student. Children with quiet special needs
(Central Auditory Processing Disorder, for example) who do not
qualify for an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) may
simply fall between the cracks, while students that are
considered disruptive (e.g. Sensory Issues) may be ostracized or
disciplined.
How can you attempt to maximize your
children?s school experience while minimizing major academic or
social gaps in your children?s school day? In comic books and at
the movies, Superman always seemed to appear at the exact time
and place where he was most needed. In real life, SuperMOM (or
Dad) is ?most needed? in the classroom on a regular basis.
Helping any child with issues is a holistic endeavor, and
classroom support is an opportunity to back up the help you may
already have in place for your child outside of school.
Volunteering in the classroom and
becoming a constructive presence in the building will allow you
to:
-
secure staff
empathy and personal concern for your son or daughter
-
better evaluate
your child?s social / academic progress in his or her
classroom environment (and possibly do some problem-solving)
The most generative path to
success-at-school for your child is via you building a bridge
between home and school with his or her teacher. This is the
secret to making a difference while advocating at school?getting
the help that you or your child needs is always about
relationships. Taking the time and interest to create a helpful,
genuine relationship with a teacher or administrator is a highly
productive practice.
OFFER INFO AND
SUPPORT:
Meet with the teacher at the
beginning of the year and be prepared to be reasonably open
about the challenges your child may present. In addition to
discussing disabilities, be positive about your child?s
strengths and abilities and talk about how you and the
teacher can both support success in class.
SET UP A REGULAR
VOLUNTEER SCHEDULE:
Present this as a win-win for
the teacher and for your child. Parents who work outside the
home may find it very worthwhile to use vacation half-days
or lunch-hours in order to appear in the classroom on a
regular basis.
BE RESPECTFUL,
BUT ALSO DEMAND RESPECT:
You are the parent expert and
your child?s advocate. It is not always possible to have a
friendship with your child?s teacher, but a good working
relationship is very important!
Listen to the teacher?s
concerns; you will desperately want to be defensive, but
re-channel irritation into your efforts to brainstorm
solutions together. Your child?s teacher influences your
child?s world, and will contribute to decisions that will
have direct bearing on classroom placement for the following
year. It is difficult and discouraging to find yourself at
odds with an unreasonable teacher or with the school
administration, but remember, if team-building was easy
there wouldn?t be high-ropes courses filled with middle-aged
office execs? Expect to have to work at building a parent /
school relationship.
GET INVOLVED IN
SCHOOL ACTIVITIES:
Attend school-sponsored events
as a family. Put on a positive, united, friendly face and
help others learn to accept your child and his or her
strengths. Teach your child how to be a friend; ask one
classmate at a time to a play-date, make it fun, and stay
discreetly close to keep the play on track. Network with a
classmate?s parents at PTA / PTO meetings and develop your
own friendships.
Building relationships for your
child at home, with friends and at school is consuming
work?especially if you are an introverted, private
individual. What you will find, however, is that the support
you seek for your child will end up being support for you,
too. Superman is not going to save the day; it takes a
village to raise a healthy child and keep a parent strong.
It?s worth your personal effort to bring that village
closer.
~ Jean MacLeod
NOTE:
If you find that your child is in a classroom situation that is
not working in spite of your efforts and involvement, please
investigate your child?s educational rights under state and
federal law. For more information, go to
www.Wrightslaw.com.
Copyright 2007,
MacLeod, All Rights Reserved
Jean MacLeod is author of At Home in This World: a China
Adoption Story, and co-editor of Adoption Parenting: Creating a
Toolbox, Building Connections and mother of three daughters, two
of whom were adopted from China through Children?s Hope. From
one adoptive parent to another, Jean shares her wisdom here in
the monthly e-news and as a new feature to the quarterly
Children?s Hope Newsletter.
2007 Children's Hope International.
All rights reserved.