Children's Hope International E-Newsletter

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

The Best Father's Day Gift?
For Kurt, There are 3

DEVELOPMENT AID:

	China Earthquake Daily Updates Amongst the Suffering
	Emergency Food Relief for Ethiopian Children
	Night of Hope Will You Be There?
	Artists Relay the Message

PROGRAM UPDATES:

	China Referrals and Adoptions Kick-Off June
	Colombia 10 Children with Recent Homecomings
	Ethiopia Flurry of Action in Ethiopia Program
	Kazakhstan Some Families Are Traveling to Kazakhstan
	Russia 34 families from 16 States Have Completed Adoptions from Russia in 2008
	Vietnam Joyful News in Vietnam Even During Uncertainty

Request a copy of our Adoption
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is right for your family.

Help the lives of orphans by sponsoring a child today!

Get your church involved
with orphan ministry.

Our Accreditations

Sliding into Summer?

Sounds easy, doesn't it? Most of us look forward to the lazy days of summer vacation, and the unstructured time with our kids. For some of our children, however, the end of the school year presents a difficult hurdle; what could be considered a carefree day, with no regular classroom routine, may actually result in high anxiety.

As parents, we can help ease summer transition hurdles by understanding our children's deep-seated reactions. For an internationally adopted child, change often equates to momentous loss. An adopted child understands the terror of vulnerability; he or she knows that change can represent a scary event, and on a base level, may fear it is a signal they may lose their present parents, friends or home. It has happened before.

Change forces anxieties to the surface, and anxiety and difficulty with transitions often go hand in hand. There is ?safety? in an unchanging routine. The end of the school year is doubly hard to deal with, as children say goodbye to familiar teachers and friends. At the same time, their now unstructured days are filled with new and varied activities. While transitioning seems like a natural skill, it is really an outgrowth of both temperament and a child's trusting belief in a safe, secure world. Although we are not able to alter a child's pre-adoption life experience, parents CAN empower a child to face change.

Five School-to-Summer Transitional Strategies

Go to the Core Issue. TALK to your child about their anxiety as the school year ends, and teach your child why these feelings may be rooted in loss. Discuss anxiety in child-terminology, and help him or her to understand why they feel and react this way. The first step in empowering a child is knowledge - allowing kids to actively choose to over-ride their own behaviors and reactions.

Instill Goodbye Rituals. Send your child to the end-of-school party or field day with a disposable digital camera and an inexpensive autograph book to capture classmate memories. Ask your child to help you choose a thoughtful gift for a favorite teacher, and co-create a meaningful note to accompany it. Celebrate end of school ?graduation? with a special family dinner and cake; talk about the highs and lows of the past year, and what the upcoming school year expectations (and fears) may be.

Create a Summer Activity Routine. Regular activity regulates the brain. A non-competitive, but self-calming practice like yoga, bike riding, or swimming can modify anxious behaviors. These life-time sports can involve the entire family!

Consider, and Reconsider, Camp. Preview your child's sleep-away readiness by starting small - with local sleepovers or day camps; observe your child's resulting behaviors. Can your child sleep well away from home? Is your child attending camp with an understanding friend? Are you confident that an extended stay at camp will be a happy, positive experience, or is the child ?willing but unable? to take the separation and change in stride? Some kids may need many small trial steps before taking on the big step of sleep-away camp.

Celebrate Small Stuff. Sometimes a child's fear-based, negative reaction to a carefully planned family vacation or getaway can push parents into their own negative reactions! Often, when a child declares they don't want to go to the beach or a family barbecue or even Disneyworld, it is the child's anxiety talking. Sit down with your child and jointly list ways to alleviate vacation stress. Brainstorm coping mechanisms and build these into your vacation days. Reward your child when she deals well with a new situation, and avoid showing your irritation if / when your child takes a step backward. Developing coping skills, confidence and resilience is an ongoing, often asynchronous, process.

Sliding into summer-time can become an annual, recognized transition ritual. Front-loading school vacations with success strategies makes sense. We carefully prepare for many duties, requirements and responsibilities in our lives-why not prepare and teach our adopted children how to relax, try on flexibility, and have some fun?

Enjoy your summer!

~ Jean MacLeod

RESOURCES

Websites & Online Articles

Self-Regulation: The Second Core Strength, by Bruce Duncan Perry, M.D., Ph.D.
http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/self_regulation.htm#bio

Healing Resources (Children's stress, anxiety / Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Articles: http://www.healingresources.info/children_articles.htm
Online Video: http://www.healingresources.info/emotional_trauma_online_video.htm

Complex Trauma
http://www.nctsnet.org/nccts/nav.do?pid=typ_ct

Books
Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-By-Step Guide for Parents
by Ronald M. Rapee (ed)

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias
by Tamar Chansky

What To Do When You're Scared and Worried: A Guide for Kids
by James J. Crist, Ph.D., (for kids, grades 5-8)

Helping Children Cope with Loss and Separation
by Claudia Jewett Jarratt

Note to Parents: In some adopted children, anxiety can be debilitating. If you have concerns over the intensity and duration of your child's anxiety, or if stress / worry are negatively impacting your child's daily life or social relationships, please seek professional care.

Copyright 2008, MacLeod, All Rights Reserved
Jean MacLeod is author of At Home in This World: a China Adoption Story, and co-editor of Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections and mother of three daughters, two of whom were adopted from China through Children's Hope. From one adoptive parent to another, Jean shares her wisdom here in the monthly e-news and in the annual Children's Hope Newsletter.