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Video
Ethiopia's Pioneer Family Finalizes Adoption |
DEVELOPMENT AID:
BLOG OF THE MONTH:
KIDS CORNER:
PROGRAM
UPDATES:
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China
15 Additional Children's Hope Referrals Will Be U.S.
Citizens Next Fourth of July |
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Colombia
Colombia Sibling and Special Need Assignments Travel to
Unite |
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Ethiopia
First Three Referrals Received; First Adoption Official, Family Set
to Travel |
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Kazakhstan
Families Bonding in Kazakhstan and at Home |
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Russia
Russia
Re-Accreditation Process Proceeds |
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Vietnam
Vietnamese Delegation Visits Children's Hope; Referral News |
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When parents
plan a summer vacation with the kids, they anticipate fun,
adventure, relaxation, and quality time. Parents may
anticipate an opportunity to reconnect with distant friends
or family, or a chance to show the kids the sights that mom
or dad found impressive when they were young. Parents rarely
anticipate the kind of nightmare a vacation can become when
traveling ‘unprepared’ with a child that has major or minor
issues with change.
For many adopted
children, change and transition equal LOSS. It’s a scary
equation for an adoptee who may feel a degree of security at
home, or in a routine, but may feel anxious or fearful under
new or constantly changing circumstances of vacation travel.
Internationally adopted children have experienced a lot of
upheaval in their lives. They have had to change parents,
friends, a language, a country—and they may be deeply afraid
of losing their present world and adoptive parents when
faced with the constantly shifting hotels, restaurants,
highways and airports of summer travel. |
Travel may trigger
an adoptee’s insecurities or trauma issues. Parents can take
measures before and during a trip to help an uneasy child feel
more secure, and help make a vacation a positive
work-in-progress rather than an emotional drain. Your child may
benefit by talking about her or his travel anxiety, and by
identifying some of travel’s most unsettling factors. Parents
can acknowledge adoption’s core role in a child’s fear of
change; sometimes an awareness of why they feel the way they do
will assist boys and girls in managing their emotional dragons.
What works:
-
Children aged
four years and older can begin to understand the concept
that parents, not houses, keep them safe. Traveling children
may express the wish to “go home”, but usually mean that
they crave the security of everyday life and the safety of
the familiar. Parents can lovingly teach a child that
security can travel when it is vested in relationships, not
houses, and that keeping a child safe is a parent’s job.
-
Transitional
objects (blankie, stuffed animal, pillow, bed-time book) are
important to-go items. Put a post-it note on your car’s
dashboard, or on top of your airline carry-on, to remind
yourselves not to leave blankie in a hotel room when you
depart! (It cost me $40 to have my daughter’s blanket
shipped to me from Orlando. The hotel charged a finding
fee…)
-
Bring the CD’s
(and a CD player) that your child listens to at bedtime.
Sleep issues can re-erupt or worsen when a child is sleeping
in alien bedrooms. Your child may need to co-sleep with you
during a vacation, even if he or she is sleeping alone at
home. Reserve a king-sized hotel bed in advance!
-
Be cognizant of
your child’s ability to enjoy crowds, noise and heat.
Children with sensory issues may become quickly
over-stimulated at theme-parks, for instance. A tantrum or
meltdown may be the only way a child is able to express a
true inability to cope.
-
Build
‘down-time’ into action-packed days, and be prepared to
change gears when necessary. Sometimes an easy afternoon at
the pool with mom or dad is a much-needed break from a
highly scheduled itinerary.
-
Parents can help
circumvent some behaviors by ensuring a child has frequent
opportunities for healthy snacks, drinks and exercise. A
vacation ‘routine’ also helps when on the road, or when
visiting Grandma.
It may take a few
tries for a child to learn to like leaving home for vacation,
but improvement comes with parent-child insight and practice.
Realizing that we may need to teach our children how to cope
with transitions, and that we can provide lots of empathy and
support for the learning process, will give us moms and dads the
tools to turn a travel ‘nightmare’ into a much happier family
experience.
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