OUR GIFT OF LOVE

Adoption was not something that had crossed my mind.  I was the happy mother of seven children.  Things were going well.  We were blessed with all the necessities of life and enough of the extras to make things comfortable.  We felt grateful for the abundance we enjoyed.  Yet we also began to feel a nagging discomfort – we who had so much surely ought to sharing with others.  We made it a matter of fervent prayer to know what it was the Lord wanted of us.  There was something – it was just a matter of us discovering His plan.  The one day the words came to my husband’s mind – “Adopt a young girl from China.”  After hearing the same message several days in a row, he presented the idea to me.  Within days it became apparent to both of us that this was indeed the Lord’s answer.  Thus began our “journey of love.” 

As the months of paperwork, documents, and notarizations progressed, we prayed that we would be led to the right girl for our family.  How could an agency clear across the ocean in China possibly know what would work for us?!  Our dossier was ready and mailed in to the CCAA in three months, and in the fourth month we were invited by CHI to look at the file of a 7-year-old waiting child that they felt might work for us.  Susan Koniak was our social worker, and she makes it a matter of prayer to place these children in the right homes.  My husband, our two daughters and I went to the CHI office to look at the file.  That is when we saw the picture of Dang Jun for the first time. (photo)  Each of us silently took turns looking at her little face, and soon the tears began to flow and we each received our own witness that this was the child the Lord wanted us to bring home.

We left for China on May 10^th, 2001.  We traveled with two other adopting families and spent three days in Beijing sightseeing and recovering from jet lag.  While in China, we were never alone – our wonderful CHI coordinator, Maria, was with us even for meals and shopping.  We also had a local guide who was a wonderful source of knowledge and of the highest moral character.  We were then flown to Shenyang, Liaoning province.  Our bus took us to the Shangri-La Hotel where our children were waiting in the hotel lobby with representatives from their respective orphanages.  The most intense moment had finally arrived!  The children of the other two families went with the greatest joy to their new families.  Dang Jun, on the other hand, was sobbing hysterically.  It broke our hearts, but eventually we had to peel her away from her orphanage director and take her upstairs to our room.  She cried for some time, then quieted down to watch and see what these Americans would do.  The rest of the evening went well as we went to dinner – she even began to play a little with her Daddy, but would have nothing to do at all with Mom.  I knew this was temporary and would pass…but man, was it hard to bear!

The next day we spent about three hours signing papers in the registrar’s office.  The orphanage representatives were there again, and Dang Jun made a beeline for her director and stayed glued to her side the entire time.  When we were all finished, the registrar made a little presentation to each family in turn – congratulating them on their completed adoption – it was now official!  It was a time of great rejoicing for the others, but Dang Jun, our orphanage director and I were all in tears that the moment of final good-bye’s had come.  Once again we had to take her away from the one person she knew and trusted.  It was a heartbreaking experience, and we left with heavy hearts and a sobbing child.  This was temporary, and I knew it would pass…but man, it was hard to bear!

The next several days found us completing paperwork in the offices of the notary and the security director.  It involved a lot of waiting and sitting in lobbies.  I’m glad we had a backpack of things to keep Dang Jun busy.  The children were wonderful, though.  We were able to meet personally with the Security Director in his office.  He had never met American adoptive families and wished to talk with us.  Through a translator, he explained, “These children from China have been abandoned by their parents or have special needs.  But you come here with open and loving hearts to take them into your lives.  The people of China could learn a lot about kindness from Americans.  The process for obtaining a passport for your children can take a long time.  But we know you have many more stops to yet make on your journey.  Because you are doing China a favor by taking these children into your homes and hearts, we help you by speeding up the process – so it only takes 4 days.  There are many steps already done before you even get here, many of them done by the orphanage, some by us.  We thank you for your kindness to these children, and wish you well on your continued journey.”  Dang Jun stayed away from me as much as possible, but went to Daddy freely.  There was a growing feeling of frustration, and while my mind knew it was temporary, my heart was aching. 

After 5 days in Shenyang, we flew to Guangzhou were we stayed at the White Swan Hotel.  The children had their medical exams, visa pictures taken, and waited for the appointment with the American Consulate.  We did plenty of souvenir shopping, eating out, visiting some sights, and swimming in the pool.  Dang Jun (Kristi June) was totally a Daddy’s girl.  After another 5 days there, we finally boarded the plane for home.  As Kristi crossed the immigration gate in the Los Angeles airport, she legally became a citizen of the United States.  We arrived home on May 24^th to be greeted by family and friends, gifts and hugs, with Kristi clutching tightly to her Daddy’s hand and me trailing along behind…

Once home, Kristi’s adjustment has been like watching the blossoming of spring.  Each day brings new wonders and amazements.  Kristi immediately loved her siblings, and they reciprocated.  And slowly, there grew within her a trust, a bond, a friendship, and then a love for me, too.  We have been home now for three weeks.  Kristi is the life of the family.  Her outpouring of affection to each member of the family has endeared her to each of them.  And what is most remarkable is how perfectly she fits in with the family.  It is like she was with us from the start.  It is hard to describe the feelings I experience now.  It is with supreme amazement and awe, gratitude and love.  Kristi’s spirit is an intense part of our lives.  Whatever concerns I had about receiving the “right” child are swallowed up in the new found witness that a loving Father in Heaven cares for each of His little ones.  These little children are precious to Him, and He has a very personal hand in their placement.

The temporary fears and anxieties are swallowed up in extreme joy with our little Kristi.  She is affectionate, warm, loving, and extremely funny!  At a time when we thought we were doing something of significance for someone else, it became apparent that, in reality, Kristi has done more for us than we thought imaginable.  Now we are a very happy family of eight children, and there is a growing feeling that maybe we should do something to express our profound gratitude, some way to share our blessings with others…I just wonder…